It’s hard to believe it’s the start of a new year – 2014. Is it just me or did 2013 just fly by? What I love about this time of year is an chance for a fresh start and new beginnings. My birthday is December 21 and with it being so close to the start of a new year, I always spend this time of year reflecting on what has happened in the past and thinking about what is to come.
Over this past year, I started working at a new place. I took a job as the CFO of a not-for-profit here in town that provides services and housing solutions to homeless individuals. I’m right where I feel like God has led me and it feels wonderful. The work itself is very challenging. When I took the job, I stepped into being three months behind in closing the monthly financial statements. I made a number of changes and improvements over my first seven months at this organization and because of the extra time it has taken to implement those things, I haven’t got caught up yet. I found that getting to work as early as possible was best for me so I could get some work done prior to others getting there. Once everyone else arrived, it became so busy that my attention was often pulled in different directions to different meetings and priorities that I had a really hard time staying focused on some of the basic elements of my job – such as closing the monthly financials.
In the process of doing all of this, my eating and exercise habits completely fell to pieces. I used to get up early and workout before work. I used to spend Sunday evenings packing my lunch (salads and non-fat Greek yogurt) to take to work each day. I stopped doing both those things. Since I work at a homeless shelter and we have to feed our clients three times a day, staff are allowed to eat lunch for free in the cafeteria daily. I stated eating whatever was being served. Great for my pocket book, but awful for the waste line. Sometimes, everything on the tray would be the same color and often that color was yellow. One day recently, we had fried fish, corn from a can and a dinner roll. That’s not very healthy.
I could make a million excuses. I could rationalize why I did what I did and spend a lot of time worrying and fretting over my past poor choices. I’m not going to do that. I’m to the point in my life and my spiritual journey where I’ve realized that nothing good can come from beating myself up about this.
I screwed up.
I gained back weight.
A LOT of weight.
Currently, I weigh about 40 pounds more right now that a year ago at this time. If you think 40 pounds is a lot of weight to gain in a year, you are correct. I still struggle so badly with all or nothing mentality. When I fell away from exercising earlier this year with the start of a new job, I also let my healthy eating habits slip. When I’m not doing one element right, it’s hard for me to do the other.
I believe that this January is a great place to start anew. A new beginning. A fresh start. Starting officially next Monday, I am going back to healthy habits. I’m going to get up early and workout before work. I’m going to spend time Sunday packing healthy lunches. I’m going to avoid the food in the cafeteria. If it was more consistently healthy and predictable, I wouldn’t do that, but as it stands, I think it is the best choice.
I’m not going to worry about the pace at which I lose the weight I’ve gained. If it takes me two years, so be it. I’m going to meet with God daily in prayer and ask for His help and strength because He is the only way I can do this. I know I don’t have the strength on my own. I’ve tried many, many times on my own and it is a failure every time. I know it’s still difficult when I work in God’s strength. He doesn’t really give me strength ahead of time. Typically, right when I can’t take it anymore, he moves in and helps me avoid temptation right at the last second. He’s rarely early but He’s always on time. And, He doesn’t care so much about the results. He cares about the relationship. He loves it when His children have to depend on Him and lean on Him daily.
So, hear’s to the new year. Here’s to new beginnings. A new attitude about starting over. To renewing my mind and body daily. In God’s strength and on His schedule.
Happy New Year!